Pulling away from the island motif, it seems like about every other day, I need a strong reminder that God is with me, that I can trust Him to help me overcome some pretty stiff challenges. Some days I fear failure–like a couple of days ago–but that very morning, through listening to John Ortberg as he talked about Elijiah, I really felt like God said something significant to me. He reminded me to serve. Wow! When we simply serve, we can leave the results up to God. If I obey, then I don’t need to worry about the outcome, at least not get all in a knot about it.

We have a huge project coming up, significant changes in our IT infrastructure. I’m excited! But a little overwhelmed too. Yet God keeps opening the doors, He keeps guiding us and sustaining us.

Day 1

We established a beach head. It feels so very good to be on solid ground (translation: to have a clear sense of mission and where to show up each morning, who to work with, etc.) Wow, are my legs ever wobbly! They say it takes time to regain your “land legs.”

Had a very hard time getting the tent set up, struggled to find fresh water, sweat like a mad man while gathering fire wood– and oh yes, there are the “natives.” Very nice folks, but I’m constantly confusing one with another and all that.

At night, around the fire I reflected on just how big this place is, and how much work there is to do. Lots and lots of work to do…

Day 2

I forgot how nasty mosquitos can be! (I had none of those in the middle of the ocean) The air can be so stale at times (I miss the ocean breezes). And I’m constantly lost, can’t get any real work done. I got sand in my sleeping bag, camp fire smoke in my tent, my feet hurt from all the rocks and I have all these little cuts from the foliage.

But wait, today I have mosquitos, in the ocean we had sharks. Today if I want some ocean breeze, I have all the freedom I need to go to the beach and get some. Besides, the ocean could get brutally hot–no shade in the middle of the ocean! And the storms! Tossed about from here to there, overwhelmed by the waves. Here I have solid ground to stand on, and palm trees for shade. In the ocean, instead of sand, I had salt and it would cake all over my head, eyes, arms, etc.

Tonight, as I sat at the camp fire and reflected, it was no longer the hugeness of this island that stunned me, but how quickly I forgot. I forgot how difficult things really were out in the “ocean” of uncertainty.

Day 3

What! Another mountain in our path! No! Not another mountain! …. breathe deep, keep breathing… Actually, that mountain is starting to look rather interesting. Wow, it’s actually a very cool looking mountain. And if we conquer it, think of the view! What if we go up this side, then turn left and come up from here, then reach for that plateau? Come on folks! We can do this!

Day 4

More of day 2 and 3, but I’m a little less lost today, just a little. I actually found time to climb a smaller mountain and look around a bit (i.e. I had a little time to try to get my head around our current state and where to go from here.)

Once or twice today I found myself longing to swim in the water again; to feel the buoyancy to wonder around freely and explore the depths of anything that caught my interest. But life on this island requires its own bit of swimming around (i.e., a certain amount of autonomy), yet I’m no longer swimming alone. And now when I swim, I swim within the context of this giant mountain, the top of which breaks above the ocean–and we call that an “island” (translation: my work is part of a mission that is much bigger than myself or my department. We are “the church at work in higher education.” And that is very, very cool. )

Day 5

I have been getting along well with those who arrived here long before me. But we’re moving past the initial enthusiasm over a new arrival and now I need get to the next level. I need to bring the team together and talk together about the future and how to work together, etc. And, I need to become helpful to this team, I need to start showing some value, before people start asking, “was it really worth it to bring this guy here?”

Day 6

Spent the day at “the work camp.” My wife came along and we cleaned up my office and organized things. I also had time (finally) to think about things, and to plan out the next few weeks.

AND…. that thing about whether or not I’m “worth being here,” well, the Lord had “speaks” with me about that. He reminded me that HE brought me here. I’m certain of that. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I try to remember that He drew me here and He will give me strength and direction; He will provide.

And so I made it through Week 1. Right now I am very much taking it one day at a time. Soon, however, my land legs will get stronger and I’ll be less confused and more adjusted. Then I should be in a place to think a week at a time, then a month at a time, etc.

—-Where He leads, He empowers.

The sun is high, the air is clear, there’s an albatross over head (funny, you would think he was showing us the way…) Land is in sight, effortlessly we speed towards it. What will it be like? I can’t wait to feel the firm ground, to drink from the fresh stream, to enjoy the shade trees. Can I really climb those high hills? It will be difficult–and risky. But the view will be so rewarding.

I’m becoming a little obsessed with all the things I want to do when I arrive.My head swims with plans for “setting up camp” and at the same time exploring the land. The excitement mounts. It won’t be long now.

I can’t help but turn to look back. I can barely see the place where I was “rescued.” It is rapidly fading into the distance. I had no idea that it would turn out this way. Everything has changed. I really thought that getting to “dry land” would somehow take the form of slowly swimming my way into “making it” as a trainer and video producer–or something, I wasn’t sure what. The only thing I truly knew then was that I could *never* go back to an IT “day job.”

Never say never.

Through a series of steps my heart changed. It started with a request from my wife; one of those little please-look-at-this-job-openings requests. Sigh…. I don’t want a “day job!” I cannot go back to Cubicle Purgatory. Never the less, I clicked on the link to the opening and started reading: Judson University. Hmmm. We know something about Judson, what with my wife being in the community band and my oldest son taking music lessons and courses there. Then I read Judson’s mission statement. That really started me thinking–and praying. By the time I filled out the application, including my testimony and answering various questions about how I would approach IT within a Christian university (vs. Corporate America), I started getting very excited about the possibility of joining Judson.

Along the way, one of our church services was on “Ask, Seek, Knock.” I felt like God was speaking directly to me. The following Sunday we sang, “Where you lead I will follow,” which became my theme song for the next several weeks.

In preparing for the interviews I had never been so nervous in all my career days. Finally I realized that this was a bit too nervous; not quite a panic attack, but kind of getting there. Then it dawned on me: there was a spiritual battle going on here. So my wife and I prayed together, and a calmness came over me, a sense that no matter which way the Lord leads, it will be good–because He will be in the lead.

During the interview with five key faculty, including the “hiring manager”/provost of the university, we all seemed to connect well, so well that the meeting went over time by an hour. Between that meeting and a meeting with the Technology Services staff I felt convinced that if Judson made the offer, I would gladly accept it.

And so here I am, thrilled to be heading towards a new “island” in life, a new part of the harvest field to labor in. I can’t wait! Sure, there will be bumps along the way and I am a little nervous about the newness of it all and the challenges and the unknowns–but in all of that comes the additional excitement and attraction.

Above all else, there’s the exhilaration of knowing that I’m being called to Judson. I know it as sure as I knew that God called me to Chicago all those years ago. I know it as sure as when He led me to Willow Creek, first as a member, then for 3 years on staff, and then continuing on as a volunteer. I know it about as sure as anyone can know anything.

How do I know? I can’t give any empirical evidence, at least none that would satisfy a skeptic. Certainly, I could create a list all of the “coincidences” that led to this moment, and then say “only God.” Or I could talk about how Judson’s mission is a cause I feel very draw to, or how the position lines up with my spiritual gifts and my background, passions and skills, or how thrilled my wife and family are, for this is at last a place where they too can connect and be involved in ways that fit them amazingly well. True and wonderful though all that is, those aren’t really the reasons. The overriding reason that I know I am called to this position is that the Real Jesus keeps confirming it over and over in my heart.

I just know.

It’s a “voice” (and I’m being very metaphorical) that whispers, “get up” or “I have not forgotten you” or nothing at all tangible, yet leaves a profound mark in my heart. At the core of it all, I just know. I know my Shepherd’s voice.

And no “paper Jesus” can do that.

No more swimming in circles, no more confusion about which way to go. I feel like shouting “LAND HO!” yes! If I just lost you, please read “My Own Personal Helm’s Deep.” You can jump to paragraph 5, which will put the “land ho” comment into context.

Things have suddenly come into focus. New adventures ahead! I’ll be posting various “adventures in… (who knows)” soon.

Till then, always remember pixels are not people. Translation: Social networking can be a good thing, but it’s not true Community. If it were, God would not have walked with Adam and Eve during the cool of the day. He would have made them His Facebook friends.