On second thought, I’d rather not….
Posted on September 12, 2007
Filed Under Generally Spiritual (few if any geek references), Some slightly auto-biographical stuff | 1 Comment
This Sunday I went down to Peyton’s Place (home of the Colts, that is), to be with my sister and brother in law while their son had open heart surgery. Their son is 8.
In summary, God really blessed! The surgery went very well. But other great things happened along the way. My nephew’s surgery clearly drew people closer to God: all four of his grandparents, his mom and dad, aunts, uncles (that would include me, of course), friends of his mom and dad, members of their church, even total strangers who where praying via email updates from us all.
My nephew will some day look back at this and see how God used this trial in his life not only for his own spiritual benefit but for blessing a lot of other people. For now, he may be a little too young, though. A couple of days before the surgery he told my brother in law that he wanted to run away from home, and come back on Tuesday when the surgery day was over. If only it worked that way.
When my nephew reached the point in recovery where he was waking up and could talk some, he asked my sister “mommy, am I done with surgery for today?” I took it that this was his stoic way of saying “please, no more.”
You see, my nephew longs for as normal of a life as possible, just like any little kid. For example, a couple of weeks ago, he went to the doctor for a more or less routine visit, but this time he did not come home wearing a monitor (some kind of record keeping device). He was elated–until he found out the reason why: he was going to have surgery soon. No need for the monitor at this time. He was bummed. He was frightened. He was angry. He wants a healthy heart, but … surgery?!?! On second thought, maybe the monitor wasn’t so bad.
My sister and brother in law love the Lord, but I’m a guessing that all those years ago when they said “Lord draw me near to you” they hadn’t bargained on something like their one and only son, at age 8, having open heart surgery (and, the reality is, this probably won’t be the last time he has to go through this).
Lord, on second thought, I’d rather not be so close to You, if this is the path I have to take……
Unfortunately (fortunately, actually), it doesn’t work that way. We can’t run from our problems any more than my nephew can run away and hide until his surgery date passes. It just doesn’t work that way.
I’m sure that both my sister and brother in law would far rather have gone through the surgery themselves than see their son be put through it. But that’s not the way God planned it. He has a perfect plan for each of us. For my sister, for my brother in law, for you and for me.
Dare I say it? God has given my nephew the privilege–yes, privilege –of a life designed to draw him closer to God, and draw us closer along with him. He’s a great kid, he has an infectious smile, he loves life, loves his dog, loves his daddy’s tractor, loves the wood shop, loves the big yard, loves Elmo, the Colts, loves being with his daddy, loves his mom and all she does for him, he has a heart of gold—and I’m not the least bit prejudice. 
–and he just wants to live a normal life. But as he follows God in his little 8 year old way, he is storing up treasures in heaven by the tractor load–and he doesn’t even know it– treasures like being a catalyst from God to touch the hearts of his mom and dad, his grandparents and cousins, his friends, aunts and uncles, and even total strangers… and he has no clue just how big is the ripple of God’s love he is causing in the pond of life.
On second thought, I’d rather not…. rather not live a comfortable life, striving for security and for everything to always be practically perfect in every way, if it means drifting away from God, if it means not having any ripples of my own.
Without trials we drift away from God. Pain stokes the fires of whatever is in our soul. If God is there, the pain makes Him all the more real. But if He is not in our hearts, well you might say that the fire causes your “paper Jesus” to go up in flames– but that’s a thought for another web site.
I have never experienced anything even remotely close to what my sister and brother in law are going through (in other words, my Paper Jesus has not really been tested yet). Part of me is a bit envious, envious of how they have been boosted up by God’s love and closeness through all the prayer and support, envious of the tight bond with their son that just got even tighter, envious of the deepened bond with their friends and family.
One second thought, maybe I’m not envious. Maybe I’d rather not go through what they went through.
Oh, wait a minute! It doesn’t work that way, does it?
James 1:2– “consider it overwhelming joy *when* you fall into all sorts of trials” not if, but when.
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Occasionally I have been asked “how is your nephew doing?” Latest update is that he is doing well! He still tires easily, and he needs to stay clear of anyone who has even a hint of something contagious like a cold or the flu, but recovery is plodding along pretty much at the normal pace.
Thanks for all of you prayers for my nephew, my sister, my brother-in-law and the rest of the family.
My nephew has a bit further to go before he has fully recovered, so your continued prayers are quite appreciated!