Laptop! Be healed! …… (rats. now what am I going to do?)
Posted on February 5, 2009
Filed Under A Geek's Guide to the Scriptures | Leave a Comment
In the wee, quiet, blurry eyed hours of the morning I got up and began my usual morning ritual: a warm coffee and my beloved laptop. 
She’s a Macbook Pro, elegant stainless steel case, gorgeous video screen, excellent track pad, and everything “just works.”
I love the sound of my MBP booting up in the morning. It’s the smell er… sound… of techno-victory. I can journal, I can read, I can research, I can webcam my buddy’s favorite beach (lucky stiff…). The world is my oyster! (as long as it has a valid URL).
But as I moved the mouse down to the dock to launch an application, something didn’t seem right. I blinked and rubbed my eyes–there must be something in them. I tried the mouse again. Hmmm. that’s not right, I thought as I absentmindedly took another hit of java.
The edges of the dock icons, they look a little jagged, and cheap. Never the less, I tried to ignore it and opened an application and began to type. The letters. They seem slightly distorted. Ah!! It’s getting worse! No doubt about it now. The characters now look like a blotchy page from a cheap typewriter (remember those? me neither. But I did some research and it all came back to me. I found a link for you, in case you’re into ancient history –> The Typewriter)
I started feeling light headed. Don’t panic! This is no time to panic. Actually, it’s a perfectly good time to panic!! I have a huge amount of work to do for a web seminar in a few days and on top of that, I’m teaching 11 count ‘em 11 days of PMP training!
Immediately I did some research, thinking that it could be a video driver issue. Just find a new and improved driver, download it, install it, and all shall be well again. After all, I fixed a veritable army of non Apple computers that way in the past. This should be easy. Nothing to worry about.
No good. All my research pointed to a Hardware problem (read: Mucho $$$’s !!). But wait! It’s probably the video chip. Apple is replacing the chip for free. Cool! I’m saved!
“Buzz! Hah! You’re alive! This is great! Oh, I’m saved! I’m saved! Steve–I mean Andy– will find you here. He’ll take us back can tell everyone…that this was all just a big mistake. Right? Buddy?”
So, this was all just a mistake, right Mac Buddy??? I immediately set up an appointment with a Genius, raced off to the store and…… found out that it’s not the video chip after all. Looks like it’s the logic board.
And of course the warranty expired a few months ago, because I didn’t purchase an extended care deal when I had the chance. Why should I, I thought. It’s a Mac. Highest quality in the world. I won’t need any of that. I’ll take good care of my laptop (and I have, believe me, I have)… and it will take good care of me.
I accepted the news as politely as possible that even under the best of circumstances this was going to cost, I mean really cost.
I waited till I got into my car until I had speaks with my superior:
GOD!!!! What in the #@)$U* *&#$#)@ ##!!~~@# (&* # !!_!)$!*$ @# !*(!@)# are You doing!!! I can’t even afford new shocks for this car, much less pour mass quantities of cash into a laptop that was supposed to be the best money could buy!
I was mad. fist shaking, steering wheel pounding, yell into the windshield, mad. When I started up the car the “Passion: Everything Glorious” CD came blaring into my ears. I hit the off button, Wham! The last thing I want to hear right now is someone singing “how awesome is the Lord most high…”
At that point, I would not have minded becoming a bit of a dragon. 
In fact, I would have rather enjoyed it: talons slashing, eyes blazing, “fire” shooting from my mouth, scorching and cutting any enemy in my way. OH!!! The words I could have spewed out!
Driving home down one of the poorest excuses for a road ever (bitter Chicago winters have done a serious number on this road), cursing at every pot hole that took a bone jarring shot at my tires, I was mad. Just plain mad.
Passing by a horse farm on the right and a marshy/woody wildlife preserve on the left, somehow I grit my teeth and said “Lord, I know the truth. I don’t feel it but I know it.” What was that truth? That God is far more concerned with my soul than with my comfort. He loves me too much to leave me the way I am. The question is: will I cooperate? So I grit my teeth and said,”my conscience requires me to say ‘yes’….”
And I forced myself to remember that this little trial is nothing, it’s embarrassingly small compared to say, losing a limb at the hands of those who are suppose to protect not pillage, compared to rape or starvation or filthy water or war raging all around.
I couldn’t manufacture a change of heart. And frankly, after all these years, I’ve learned that it’s stupid to try. So I just said, “here. Here it is. My heart. Do something with it.” or words to that effect. And then, while still pretty miffed, I did my best to drop the subject and try to get on with my day.
I could not have been more than about 4 minutes, kid you not, when gradually, like a slowly thawing stream of water, my heart changed.
My laptop is still a mess (sometimes I can’t quite make out the letters of this article as I type them). My car still needs new shocks, my kitchen faucet still leaks, the bills still come in, I’m still in a fog about life, but…… I know, I mean I really KNOW that God has my eternity in mind. He really does love me too much to leave me in my present state.
It took a “serious” problem with my laptop to show me that lurking beneath the surface of this supposedly nice, amiable, laid back exterior is a dragon, still very eager to burst out and spew “fire” all over anyone and anything that causes it pain.
I guess it’s worth the hassle (and the fear of where in the world am I going to get the money to fix this) if that’s what it takes to draw out into the open (and “slay”) the dragon. And of course, this is hardly the end. Dragons have a way of resurrecting themselves (actually, I think they play dead for a while, lulling me into thinking they are gone for good, then Wham! out they come!)
While turning onto my street, I turned the CD player back on. This time I listened, agreed in my head–and my heart continued to thaw out. A line in the song struck me. This is the key, I thought. This is what I need to keep my eye on. The line went like this: Where You send us, God we will go…
Somehow, when I keep my eye on going where ever God wants to send me, then all my little problems just don’t seem so big any more.
It was time to pull into the garage, and time to conciously serve my family. By the time I got out of the car, I actually felt ready.
“Hi honey. How was your morning?” I asked.
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